FINDOM

Findom is such a popular term nowadays.

Findom is a real BDSM practice but it must be done ethically and from a place of love, not abuse.

What is Findom?

Findom short-term from financial domination, stands for someone in the submissive position assisting in a play where he is financially dominated, more exactly he has to give away amounts of money to the dom in a certain play but safe container, which must be done ethically and consensual.

I see a big confusion happening regarding FinDom and FemDom.

Findom is a BDSM practice inflicting financial domination, it’s practice like all other practices in BDSM, can be practiced in a session if it`s executed correctly with consent and aftercare.

Femdom stands for female domination, a dominant female having the dominant role in a BDSM session or lifestyle.

They are subs that seek for FemDom and they step into FinDom because they just don`t know what it is and Findom is what is advertised everywhere.

Unexperienced Doms use the term Findom a lot not knowing what it is and how is done properly, they also use this term for their selfish gains, and here is where unethical abusive things happen.

Another misinterpretation I see among the subs or Doms that are inexperienced is not making the difference between FinDom and Professional Dominatrixes.

A Pro-Dom is a trained Dominatrix who practices BDSM professionally. Like a lawyer in a law firm

A Pro-Dom has paid services, exactly like all other professionals in other industries.

A call, a session, training, mentorship, or any other services are paid services in the form of Tribute.

That Is not Findom when you pay a professional for a service.

I heard many subs mistaken those 2.

when a client books a session with me, I will ask for a small fee for a phone conversation so I can interview them, get to know them and see if this is a fit. And then I asked for the deposit, which is $100 deposit that goes towards the session tribute.

There’s no FinDOM in that.

The larger percentage of Dom’s out there who call themselves Dom’s are not trained dominatrixes. Because they’re having FinDOM as the front-facing thing just takes a stranger and drains his wallet completely and then his ignored, forgotten.

And this is not how Findom is done, this is abuse.

Unfortunately, I see now more abusive plays and people taking advantage of this practice.

Let`s talk about Findom and the mistakes, and repercussions if it`s not done ethically.

We go through some real stories of recovered pay pigs to bring awareness to the community and try to avoid some often made mistakes.

I believe that the story i will share with the recovering pay pig, also called a Finsub or a financial domination addict is the first of its kind.

I hope that everyone in the BDSM community will read carefully and have it be a real wake-up call to what is happening to all these people who are being damaged by the people who are exploiting them for selfish gain.

The purpose of this article is to help to humanize pay pigs.

And honestly, I’m hoping that it will change the way financial Dom’s see them for good and make them think about things differently.

I’m hoping that this will help them see that pay pigs are not pigs and not faceless objects, only to be used for their wallets and thrown away.

This isn’t something being done within the safe container of a BDSM session.

These are real people with real lives who are being negatively affected on all levels, many to devastating degrees. Here is a direct quote from someone I know in the kink community to give you an idea of the degree of devastation and hardship that these Finsubs are going through.

I know clients, even with their consent, lost 1000s of dollars from FINDOM.

And at worst, they ended up owing money for their mortgage to their lawyers, etc. 

I don’t know what happened to them now. But there are two things I know for sure.

They will never get their money back. And they are emotionally mentally and psychologically crushed.

It will take many years to recover.

When some clients hit a dead end, I usually took over to figure out how to protect them from losing everything In some cases finding them a therapist for their mental health etc.

I will share a little bit of John`s (not his real name) story.

John talks about how he got into financial domination, also called FinDOM for short.

Although he wasn’t originally attracted to FinDOM at all but was looking for FemDom, because he has felt himself to be kinky from birth, no matter where he looked FemDOM, actually FinDom was in his face.

So he started dabbling in it, and then eventually got sucked into it.

The amounts started to get more serious and serious to the degree of depleting his whole financial net worth,

everything that he worked for everything that he had.

To have findom debt, and to deplete his savings, is outrageous, and that way did not help his cause.

The amounts rose, it got to the point where $1,000 $1,500, wallet-draining sessions were basically the new normal for him, just because of how the tolerance grew.

John eventually needed help from a therapist, He also came to find a group of people going through the same experience. it is a FINDOM addiction recovery group, based in the USA.

It’s important to understand that the real art form and practice of classic FEMDOM female domination go back hundreds of years, FINDOM appeared with the rise of the internet and people`s greed.

And although there might have been some sort of financial domination being done on some minor scale throughout time,I’m sure all kinks have been explored at some point or another.

It hasn’t been to the devastating point it is now.

The popularity of FinDom has become rampant in the past decade or so and has peaked during the last few years. COVID played a big part because more people were resorting to online play, and frankly, because people were desperately trying to make a living.

But unethically draining other people’s bank accounts with no remorse is not okay.

Real traditional FemDOM is in danger of becoming a lost art.

Because the FemDOM culture is being drowned in the hundreds or 1000s of FinDom’s outward-facing demands for cash giving nothing in return, not even their minimal attention.

It is outrageous when a DOM engages in this activity, not for the craft or the love of BDSM, but just simply for the result of self-gain, even at the expense of human beings on the other side.

Then non-ethical FinDOM represents the main cause of the current declining state of online female domination.

But thankfully, it’s not lost yet.

There are many BDSM educators out there keeping our beloved craft alive and strong, me being one of them. Teaching from the perspective of classic femme DOM.

we are conscious Dom’s are out there, you just have to do your research and look for them.

And I really do hope that those subs who have been caught up in the web of FinDOM can make the healthy choice of finding their way toward conscious FemDOM.

The reason why I wanted to write about this topic is to humanize finsubs.

They are people who have lives and these Findoms are affecting in a very negative way, across the world

Finsubs Are not just a wallet.

Findom became a craft being practiced in a non-healthy, non-consensual non-ethical way

The incorporation of aftercare it`s a must.

I personally, view financial domination FINDOM as would increase the health of a financial relationship dynamic if it`s done properly.

If the dominant is coming from a good place with good intentions, and the subs coming from a good place where they’re not engaging out of necessity, but rather because of desire.

That is consensual play, a Healthy way to practice Findom

In that way could be a healthy relationship.