D/S Relationship

The D/S relationship between a Dom and a Sub can be the most fulfilling relationship you can ever experience.

Kink and BDSM a huge bonding element in most of D/S friendships. It is because kink cuts through all the superficial facades and goes straight to a soul connection.

It gets real and deep, It’s about connection, having fun, freedom of expression, acceptance and bonding.

Interestingly, a dynamic based on quote-unquote roleplay brings people closer faster than anything else.

One of the most popular terms in a d/s relationship is Collared Slave.

Collared slave means the commitment between the Dom and the sub in the symbol of ownership, receiving the collar is the expression of commitment like in marriage when receiving the ring.

Has a psychological meaning, that doesn`t mean the sub must wear a collar all the time but in general a Dom can choose some accessories for the sub, such as a bracelet or necklace,a medallion or even a tattoo.

In any D/S relationship can be an evolution and growth especially if it starts as mistress and client interaction.

If the sub expressed a desire to become a collared slave, he would have to work that title.

But even after earning the collar, the relationship can evolve hugely to the point where it can be so close, the DOM or the Sub it can be one of the most important people in your life.

Not only as a personal slave or personal Dom but as one of the closest friends.

Because, underneath all d/s relationships, is a friendship, its understanding, acceptance, and love.

There’s got to be otherwise, it just, it’s it’s not authentic, it doesn’t work.

Let`s go through a real example

Let`s say Mike, had a divorce, and his ex-wife didn`t do BDSM. The divorce had nothing to do with BDSM. After his divorce, he dated a fair number of women. None of them were interested in BDSM.  He found the relationship stressful.  So in his head, when he approached his Mistress, as the first pro-Dom he ever saw, he was looking to do BDSM and to have no stress because he would have no relationship.

But as time and contact moved on. he developed feelings for her.

And that being said, that has made him trust her more and feel closer And more connected.

Because he knows that if she does something intense to him in a session, it’s never out of the wrong place.

Then the plays got so intense. the dynamic of the play got more intimate.

That is because the trust between them has been built up so high, they can go to those places.

And he opened up himself, to explore things that he normally doesn’t.

 Communication furthers their emotional and personal relationship.

So open communication with her mistress it made their relationship blossom.

An interesting fact is that Mike was not even a natural submissive, he was a natural bottom.

So for readers out there to just explain a little bit about the difference between submissive and bottom.

A bottom is like a lot of clients who come to see professional Doms, they have a fantasy, or they have kinks or they have fetishes that they want to explore or play out, and they request those things to the Mistress, will you do these things to me, and then the mistress does them.

Even though the roleplay during the scene is, is where the bottom might be playing a submissive role.

But there’s, not a natural tendency, there’s not a natural feeling of submissiveness, in general, so, Mike is not a natural submissive, in, his personal life, or even, in the BDSM world, he’s only submissive to His mistress, and the submissiveness has grown. Because of the intimacy and closeness.

That is Mike`s case ,an example which is quite often seen as a D/S relationship

In My personal life Even as a Pro Dom, I can form very deep connections with my subs. But as far as a color slave relationship that’s very few and far between. I would say that the relationship sort of has to choose us instead of us choosing to have it.

It must be organic, To just develop.

The action of give-and-take back-and-forth makes a D/S relationship to blossom

Builds more trust.

The most important thing I learned in my Dom journey was to LiSTEN, being able to filter out my own objectives and just able to listen, listen to my sub’s needs, and acknowledge them.

I believe that My willingness to listen to their concerns, evaluate them, and talk about them doesn’t detract at all from the DS relationship but makes it stronger.

In that open container of complete openness, when the submissive becomes more vulnerable, I must honor his feelings more, hear him and see him, and not let him be ignored

Even if the submissive is just their role. They don’t want to be invisible.

They want to be seen, they want to be understood, behind the roles that we play, we’re human beings, we’re just the same.

That step has to come from the mistress to respect the sub, hear him, and understand him.

Especially for someone who’s not submissive by nature. It requires an enormous amount of trust in the DOM.

Once I started hearing and respecting my subs’ feelings more the level of respect for them to me increased. Mutual respect is so important in this power dynamic type of relationship, we can sometimes forget that there’s got to be mutual respect coming from both sides.

When this gets lost, it can hurt or cost the relationship. I believe that my respect for subs’ feelings even elevated how they see me as a DOM.

The important thing to remember is that there’s a distinction between being a Dom and being a bully. A bully doesn’t care about the other person’s feelings.

I have grown so much as a person and as a DOM.

But the more I opened my heart and listened to their feelings and tried to understand them, it gave them the reassurance that they needed to feel safe in the relationship.

Having clear communication, love and respect builds deeper trust. Where is trust it can play out many intense things.

And I don’t think we could do those things if we wouldn`t have developed the trust in d/s relationships.

The Dom has to make this happen because we’re leading the relationship, this is an FLR female-led relationship.

Another Beautiful things is Because of kink, and BDSM, makes us look inside of each other,see each other at the soul level.

It bypasses the personality, into something deeper.

What we’re being with each other is more of our core selves with all other superficial sides of our personalities falling away.

I think that trust creates freedom to play. And the freedom to play creates more activity that both sides enjoy. I think the more activity we enjoy the greater the trust becomes.

so over time, the relationship becomes deeper and deeper.

This learning and growth transferred over to how I handle my other DS relationships and to all my relationships for that matter.

The amount of personal growth and learning that I have gained through my relationships with all my personal slaves has been exponential.

The process of working things out with them has helped me keep my ego in check and taught me a lot about how to be a good person, and in turn a good DOM.

Conflict and hurt feelings can happen in any close relationship, and DS ones are no exception.

We are all human after all, and we all feel human emotions. Often when conflicts come up, we resolve them on a human-to-human level.

Underneath D/S relationships, the foundation of friendship is always there. real friendship and caring for one another as people have to be there.

Otherwise, the relationship is not sustainable.

This goes for all relationships.

But the difference in DS is that the understanding and quality of submission and respect from slave to mistress is always there, in and out of the scene.

That’s what sets it apart from vanilla relationships and makes it magical.

It is my adamant belief that when a DS relationship has a high level of respect, commitment, and communication from both parties, success, closeness, and happiness are guaranteed